Tears of a Phoenix
by Kleine Snowdrop
Summary: Severus Snape confronts Albus Dumbledore after The Prisoner of Azakaban.


Title: Tears of a Phoenix

Author: Kleine Snowdrop

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Not mine, Harry Potter and his world belong to JK Rowlings, I just wanted to play.

A/N: After reading the end of The Prisoner of Azkaban, I was annoyed with they way everyone was treating Severus. So I wrote this to remedy it in my world.

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Tears of a Phoenix

Severus Snape strode briskly to the headmaster's office. A hastily written piece of rolled parchment clutched tightly in his pale fist. His robes billowed behind him as a dangerous warning to all who crossed his path. To say that Severus Snape was angry was a massive understatement; he was livid, furious, enraged, incensed, and irate.

Barely pausing at the gargoyle, he barked this week's ridiculous password. Deliberately, like a petulant child, he made his presence known as he stomped up the stairs. The doors flung open before him, startling Minerva and Poppy. The two women jumped at the noise and they turned to face the irate wizard.

But Dumbledore, much to Severus' unending annoyance, Dumbledore merely sat there calmly watching the younger wizard's display. Albus stood as the two witches left the office.

One look at Severus, and the witches took a glance at each other and knew that this had to be between Severus and Albus alone. It had been brewing since the appointment of Remus Lupin as the Defense of Dark Arts Professor.

Snape jerked to the side as they passed by him. At the bottom of the stairs, just out of hearing range, Poppy turned to Minerva and whispered, "I wouldn't want to be even a fly in that room."

"I just hope they can salvage their relationship," responded Minerva. A look of was concern etched on her face.

"Let's hope, Minerva, Let's hope."

Dumbledore offered his potions master a chair. When Severus refused, Albus remained standing across from his potions master. He reached for the little dish of lemon drops that he always kept on his desk. The offer hadn't passed his lips when Severus backhanded the offending dish across the room. His growl of "NO" was the only sound that accompanied the shattering of the china.

Albus was shocked. This was not good. Severus had never dared that before, not even when he was at his worst, he usually gave a self-suffering sigh or a rather sharp, "No." Albus knew then that something was going to come to a head in that office tonight. Something between him and Severus had shattered along with that china dish. Albus didn't fool himself into thinking that a simple charm could repair it.

He tried to meet Severus' eyes. Any emotion in them was closed off to him as tightly as Severus' mind was to his attempts to look into it. Fawkes wisely stayed on a perch next to the sorting hat. The phoenix knew that something or someone was going to be shattered and in need of healing tonight.

Severus had been toying with his rolled piece of parchment during their staring contest. He slammed the parchment on the old desk; items jumped from the desk due to the force.

"What's this?"

"My resignation, headmaster," Severus' hiss was cold and deadly.

"I will not accept this, child."

"Don't," he snarled. Meeting his child's eyes all Albus could see in the dark, glittering orbs was anger and hatred. But if he looked closer, he could see the hurt and disappointment that was nearly completely hidden behind the fury.

Albus hadn't seen that deep resonant hurt since that fateful night nearly a lifetime ago. He could understand and accept the anger towards him. He had been the cause, once again, of the disappointment and hurt. But the hate, that seething, venomous hate, had never been directed towards him. He was at a loss—Severus couldn't hate him—It couldn't be so.

"Where will you go?" he asked closing his eyes to the thought.

"That is really none of your concern."

"I believe it is, Severus

"No, headmaster, nothing I do outside of Hogwarts is your business."

"Is it not, Severus, wasn't it my testimony that kept you from Azkaban?"

Severus stepped further into the room, out of the shadows, looking the powerful and dangerous wizard that he was, "I never asked for your help, Albus."

"You didn't?"

"No," came the hissed whisper, "I asked you to kill me, asked if you wanted my head. I figured it would be easy for you to do, just get one of your pet Gryffindors to do it." He paused a moment to regain his control. "I never asked you to save me," he repeated, and then mockingly added, "which by the way if you were keeping score you've failed again."

Albus felt sick; Severus was right. In his heart of hearts he knew that, once again, he had failed Severus. Forced to choose between Sirius and Severus. Albus knew that he damned either way. There was no way that he could allow an innocent man to receive the dementor's kiss. If he did, he would never be able to look Harry in the eyes and explain to him why.

But could he look Severus in the eye and explain to him why, why once again explain why he chose the way he did? He couldn't, not when the betrayed little boy still resided in the body of the hardened and embittered man. Albus knew that this was and had been war; difficult choices came with it. But could he live his life knowing that Severus Snape, a child he had always loved as if he was his own, hated him because of that choice?

Severus would never understand why, why once again he had been shoved aside and forsaken for others.

But the Slytherin would survive. Snape would never give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that he had failed. Snape would live on, but Severus was fading rapidly, nearly gone. He only appeared in rare instances, usually involving a cauldron locked deep in the dungeons in his lab for no one to see. The shades of that boy had all but vanished in the harsh light of the world.

"You have nowhere else to go, Severus." Albus said a perfect façade of calmness. Inside, however, he was terrified that his wayward child would leave him forever. Leave him, never to return again without any way of finding him. Albus could not, and would not accept this.

"Anywhere is better than here."

"You don't mean that." Severus couldn't mean that.

"Don't I," sneered Snape as he opened his mind to the headmaster. Albus' mind was immediately flooded with Severus' memories. All of them bad and all were of Hogwarts. Some were as old as Severus first trip on the Hogwart's Express and some as recent as that very evening.

Buried deep in the memories, was that frightened little boy seated in front of the headmaster as he was sworn to secrecy, with the threat of expulsion, if he ever told anyone about Lupin's secret.

Albus knew that he had failed Severus again as he had that fateful night. He had always tried to help his children, but the one that always needed him the most had been shoved to the background forced to blaze his own path in order to survive. Forced to survive on his own, simply because no one had ever been willing to help him.

Albus forced his mind shut. The emotional turmoil that Severus was in kept echoing through the room. Fawkes flew closer to Severus; the bird had always had special fondness for Severus.

"I cannot accept this, Severus," Albus said, "please reconsider and if you still choose to leave, I will not stop you."

Severus slumped, the rage dissipating for the moment, allowing Albus to see only the hatred and disappointment still in those dark eyes. They would haunt Albus that night, and many more to come.

Severus left his resignation on the desk and stalked from the room.

Albus collapsed into his chair; he felt every one of his many years and older. He rested his head on his desk, blinking back his tears. For the first time he feared the choice that Severus would make. He had lost something important, something that he cherished, tonight with Severus that would never be regained.

Fawkes flew from the perch and glancing at Albus the phoenix left the office. Perching on Severus' shoulder the bird accompanied him to his office. Once there the phoenix offered Severus a tear.

Severus sighed and bottled the tears, he looked at the bird and said, "I'm sorry, Fawkes, but there are some wounds cannot be healed with even a phoenix's tear."

The End


End file.
